Being still fairly fresh out of the state hospital, I have no choice but to rely on social security disability for housing, and to live on.

(I do have a job, but can only work limited hours to supplement that SS income.)

I was released from the state hospital in November.

I’ve been waiting and waiting for my first social security check to come, so I can get out of transitional housing and into something more permanent…and just so I can live.

I’ve had pneumonia, couldn’t afford cough medicine when my prescription ran out.

I’ve accidentally cut my finger, couldn’t afford bandaids and neosporin.

I’ve been without food from time to time.

My car broke down on the highway, no way to get it fixed but to take out a loan from friends.

Can’t afford even the basics.

And today, I just found out…my December and January social security checks were sent to the state hospital…as if I were still inpatient.


Did the state hospital correct it?


They kept all the money, and I’m not even there!!!

Meanwhile, Davis Behavioral Health continues to screw up my meds, give me horrible treatment…to pressure me to have a breakdown, it seems.

Refraining from self harm is a battle…not against myself, but against them.

They push and push and push…

And the longer I don’t give in, the more crap they pile on to frustrate me.

Anyone still doubting the sabotage conspiracy theory?

It’s like the entire system expected me to be back in the state, and are pushing for it. Even still paying the state!

Once upon a time, this would have upset me enough to self harm.

Well, they can just forget it.

I’m not giving in!

–via the ghostwriter


20 thoughts on “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  1. This just shows the insanity and fracture of our society. I really hope you can stay strong. Forces conspire against us being real in this world. Is there any way you can get that momey back. I am going to reblog this for you because it makes me so upset for you and people need to know this goes on. Please stay strong. Don’t let them win. YOU HAVE COME SO FAR. XOXO

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ve heard from multiple people who’ve tried that route here that it’s a dead end, just like every other avenue. The media covers it all up, and makes the system look like the best in the nation. Utah’s mental health system has won all kinds of awards—because they’re so good at silencing patients and covering it up.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve been in psych wards here where they stand right next to me on the phone and hang up if I say anything about the mistreatment. I have a friend who had a staff tell her that they had all her debit cards, drivers license, and personal ID, and to think about that before she said anything about the unit. (They caught her in the phone talking about it.) In Ogden Regional, my friend came to visit and we had a nurse sit with us. I told my friend all about what they were doing—crazy stuff—and afterwards, they banned me from the phone for my “safety.” My friend protested and called the hospital admin, they restored my phone privileges, but changed my meds and had me to where I couldn’t pronounce any words, just mumbled. No one could understand anything I said. Just a few examples.


      3. Wow its just outright abuse and emotional control..so archaic too. You were lucky to get out of there and im sure so many more dont. Its pure evil. Is there no independent invesutgative journalust who can bust the lid on this over there? I’m guessing they just dont have the power.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Go straight to Social Security and file a complaint. Remember, mismanagement of funds was an important part of pulling the abuse/fraud thread to unravel the sweater for me on several occasions. But, you need to speak to a worker affiliated directly with SSA, not rely on your case manager – whom I assume is acting as temporary rep payee, or else how could she act on your case? – and has no incentive. Here’s hoping there is someone left at the agency to speak to under government shutdown:-/

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s