Being still fairly fresh out of the state hospital, I have no choice but to rely on social security disability for housing, and to live on.
(I do have a job, but can only work limited hours to supplement that SS income.)
I was released from the state hospital in November.
I’ve been waiting and waiting for my first social security check to come, so I can get out of transitional housing and into something more permanent…and just so I can live.
I’ve had pneumonia, couldn’t afford cough medicine when my prescription ran out.
I’ve accidentally cut my finger, couldn’t afford bandaids and neosporin.
I’ve been without food from time to time.
My car broke down on the highway, no way to get it fixed but to take out a loan from friends.
Can’t afford even the basics.
And today, I just found out…my December and January social security checks were sent to the state hospital…as if I were still inpatient.
Did the state hospital correct it?
They kept all the money, and I’m not even there!!!
Meanwhile, Davis Behavioral Health continues to screw up my meds, give me horrible treatment…to pressure me to have a breakdown, it seems.
Refraining from self harm is a battle…not against myself, but against them.
They push and push and push…
And the longer I don’t give in, the more crap they pile on to frustrate me.
Anyone still doubting the sabotage conspiracy theory?
It’s like the entire system expected me to be back in the state, and are pushing for it. Even still paying the state!
Once upon a time, this would have upset me enough to self harm.
Well, they can just forget it.
I’m not giving in!
–via the ghostwriter