Strangle Hold

⚠️ Caution: trigger warning.

From the Ghostwriter:

Friday night, the blogger fell off the radar.

She reported late afternoon that she had to meet with Tom, who we’ve mentioned before.

Refresher:

Tom was the crisis worker who kept calling her and harassing her prior to her admittance to the state hospital. He kept claiming someone had called the crisis line on her, but we obtained the call logs and discovered no one had ever called in.

Tom once vowed to the blogger to keep her on court commitment for life.

The calls from him began the very day the court released her. The harassment contributed to her admittance to the state hospital.

He also cornered her in the psych ward prior to the state hospital. She told him she didn’t want his help. He threatened covertly, “We will be here to help you as long as you reside in this county.”

She had told him multiple times she didn’t want to talk to him, which he labeled “unacceptable.”

We contacted the Department of Professional Licensure. The investigator was acquainted with Tom, and would not pursue it, although he said he would talk with Tom unofficially if we wanted. We did not see the point.

We also contacted Adult Protective Services who did a brief investigation. Never heard anything more, as all investigations are “inconclusive,” so I’m told.

When the blogger was released from the state, Tom offered a seemingly kind “no hard feelings” make-up session with the blogger.

She feels it was extremely insincere. He is more careful with his words now, but still appears to be pushing her in the wrong direction.

All I knew Friday was that she was made to meet with him, and left the meeting obsessing on the idea of strangling herself.

It’s very interesting how she can be feeling just fine, then meets with these people, and suddenly wants to hurt herself or kill herself.

I, and others, have observed this unmistakable pattern since she was released from the state hospital…I don’t know that I would have believed it before, but I saw enough while she was there to not question it.

I feel confident they are hypnotizing her and placing hypnotic suggestions in her mind to make her do things. Couple that with subtle threats, and she can’t seem to maintain control of herself.

I spoke with her several times throughout the day. She seemed very normal, bored and wanting to leave, but pretty much alright.

After meeting with Tom, her tone of voice changed. She sounded far away, entranced, distant and disconnected. Her normally animated personality was flat and barren. All she could talk about was how Tom had forced her to look him in the eye when she really didn’t want to, and how strange he made her feel…and how she now could not stop thinking about strangulation.

I’ve observed this after every meeting with Danae, Angela, and Tom.

Dr. Shark and Janie (APRN) leave her very frustrated, but typically not suicidal/self-harming. It seems to be solely the therapists who produce that effect.

The blogger had been very excited about leaving Monday and getting back to her schoolwork and normal activities. She was hopeful, and nowhere near suicidal.

One meeting with Tom, and she changed drastically. Whatever that meeting did, she instantly altered, and couldn’t think of anything but how to make a noose to strangle herself.

I told her that if she went through with it, it probably would not work, but would prolong her stay, and possibly lead back to the state hospital.

Usually, that snaps her out if it to some degree. She has NO desire to go back there. Of her own accord, I am certain she would never self harm again just to stay free from it.

This time, I could not bring her back to Earth. She only responded, “Oh, it could work, it really could.”

She said she would call me later, hurried to get off the phone, and never called.

I was not able to get her back on the phone.

The next day, Saturday, in the afternoon the blogger finally called me.

She told me about the noose she made with a shirt. She had tied it very tightly around her neck, and said it almost worked. She said her eyes went dark before the staff found her…but that she didn’t remember much of anything before it.

The fact that the staff found her is strange to me, since I’m all the time she’s ever been there, they’ve only checked in one her once before.

And every time this happens, she is blacking out and has no clear memory of the actual act of self harm/suicide.

Whatever they are doing to her is breaking her mind.

The staff didn’t say much to her about it. Because it’s the weekend, the critical staff members are absent.

She was given a pass prior to the incident to go with a family member today, Sunday. They denied it after the incident.

Very doubtful they will let her go tomorrow, as previously planned.

She is very nervous about tomorrow.

Tomorrow she meets with Danae and other medical staff to discover her fate, and possibly to be hypnotized…again.

She’s concerned they will be sending her back to the state hospital for a very long stay.

We will find out.

–the Ghostwriter

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13 thoughts on “Strangle Hold

  1. She sounds severely dissociated and possibly triggered into switching into a fragmented part of her trauma brain. I doubt she’ll ever get proper evaluation, but I wonder if she has an underlying dissociative organization to her personality and the abusive situation is triggering an old trauma part to assert control? Look into the dissociative disorders if you can, as if she is severely dissociated, working to try and learn her parts and orient them to this being a *different* trauma to the one they knew might help her. I did independent trauma work when I was too afraid of the system given what I had witnessed in the 9th Circle of Hell to admit my own dissociation trauma response. It isn’t ideal, but it might be all you can do right now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are quite aware of her dissociative identity disorder, and it is nearly impossibly to get that diagnosed or treated here in Utah. Would really appreciate discussing these things in private with you, as we are purposefully not telling the whole story and intend to keep it that way for now. You’re welcome to email, I’ll explain further. We are alluding to the dissociation repeatedly, and you clearly understand some of the implications. Thank you! —The Ghostwriter

      Like

      1. I’m having trouble finding the blog email, probably because I mostly use the app and mine is out of date since the new update has weaker privacy controls. Mine is lavender.levity@gmail.com, but feel free to contact or not contact. I trust you all without needing all the details, but around if you both could use a friendly ear or if you want to ask more details about specific situations in my story if they could help.

        Liked by 1 person

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