My therapist continues to insist that I go through some form of trauma therapy…

BEFORE I have to witness against my attacker in court.

I have several issues with this.

First, there’s no way I can get through a lifetime of abuse trauma in the next few months.

I fear that I’ll go into that courtroom more exposed and overwhelmed with it.

Second, I don’t trust my therapist AT ALL. The games continue, same old story every single time.

Thirdly, I don’t feel ready for trauma therapy, and being coerced makes me less and less comfortable with it.

Every week she throws out some new form of trauma therapy, and tries to get to agree to it.

Here’s the latest:

“Trauma Conversion Therapy”

I have literally scoured the internet and this is all the info available…except that the man who developed it never finished his application process for his trademark on it.

I’ve asked around, no one has ever heard of it.

If I agree to it, I’d have to see another therapist I’ve never met before.

Actually, a new therapist is appealing.

But delving onto my deepest trauma with a stranger isn’t.

And the track record of these “professionals” doesn’t give me much hope.

I’m not agreeing to it…

But I realize that I may not have a choice.

My meds are changed every time I go in.

Vraylar is the latest…never heard of it, can’t pronounce it.

Do these people realize it takes TIME for psychotropic meds to work properly?

Janie doesn’t leave me on anything long enough to find out if it’s going to help or not.

I’ve been pretty stable, no self harm since the last blog about it.

So…why the change?

I don’t know what the hell they’re doing…it appears they don’t either…

But beneath all the confusion, I see a bigger, organized plan at work.

–via the ghostwriter

9 thoughts on “Conversion

  1. At the risk of this sounding mean – you are a cash cow. There is no benefit to them in you getting better. They play bait and switch because that’s how the billing works. You can be inpatient for x time until the allowance is exhausted then released to outpatient until you exhaust that then they switch back.
    They help you or ‘make you better’ and what happens? The check book closes.
    No one making money from your illness has a vested interest in your well being. I’ve realised this after reading what you have to say and thinking back to what others have said. Maybe I’m very cynical but I do think I’m right

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Vrylar is used to slow down manic behavior. It is a newer “boutique” antipsychotic.I call these new antipsychotics “boutique” because they are geared for specific issues instead of a cover all. I’m on one; Latuda, it is an antipsychotic to help squelch depression symptoms. At least you know what Vrylar is now. Hang in there. I pray daily for you that shit gets straightened out. You have been through so much.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I didn’t know if you knew or not. But it doesn’t seem like they are very forthcoming with you so I thought I’d give you the info.


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